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News & Novelties: the bi-monthly newsletter from "theCoach4you"
May 2002, Volume 1, Issue 3

IT IS 10 P.M., DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR INNER-CHILD IS?
by Stacey Jill Zackin, CPCC*

The expressions, ”inner-child”, “authentic self” and “taking time to find myself” have become clichés, but like most clichés, they are based in truth. That truth has been distorted through time and interpretation. What does inner-child mean to you? Is it something you lost touch with? Is it something you want more of?

I thought I’d take a literal view and look back onto who I was as a child; how I behaved, what made my happy, how did I show up in relationships with others, what motivated and stimulated me? I recently found an autobiography I wrote as a college assignment. As part of researching, “The Life and Times of Stacey Jill Zackin”, I sent questionnaires to my parents. I had a little trepidation because I was afraid of what my mother would remember and even more afraid of what my father wouldn’t. They both took the time to send me back their very detailed, loving and honest responses.

As a child I was quite independent, friendly, confident, and secure. Whenever we’d go somewhere I’d wander off and explore without any concern for getting lost. I always knew that my parents would find me. I was happy and accepting. As I got older I become a bit moody and less tolerant. I became more sensitive and insecure. I came to need more reassurance and security, relying more upon results than experience.

Through my work with my coaches and collaborators, I’ve learned to embrace the child in me who is inspired by curiosity over criticism, trust over cynicism and play over struggle. It doesn’t make the disappointments and resentments disappear into a world of naiveté and silver linings. It means I get to choose how I blend the natural instincts I had as child with the lessons I’ve learned over the years. For some people, going back to who they were might not be as effective as starting fresh and declaring who they want to be. Your inner child is the best of you and you know you’ve found him/her when you are able to bring out the best in other people.

Sometimes we let the circumstances of our life dictate our behavior and attitudes. My request is that you allow your inner-child, as you define him/her, to come out and play regardless of your circumstances. And who knows, maybe this perspective, be it brand new and fresh or old and all but forgotten, will impact your circumstances in a most delightful way.

Much luck, love and laughter,

* CPCC, Certified Professional Co-Active Coach

© Copyright 2002 - "theCoach4you"

(Please feel free to pass this on to friends and family. If anyone is interested in being added or removed from the mailing list for this bi-montly newsletter or want to experience a complimentary half-hour sample phone session, contact me at stacey@theCoach4you.com.)